I haven’t gone on a walk in a while.
During the few nice days that we’ve had recently, I’ve been pretty occupied (school, work, etc), and now that I’ve had the time, the weather is too cold and unbearable. It snowed yesterday, and will snow again in the new future. The majority of my “walking” has been at work, in circles, talking to customers and putting away books (sometimes I’ve been able to hit 10k steps at work alone, which is not insignificant, but probably says something about how much repetition I’ve been doing lately). The fact that I haven’t gone for a walk (or a run–which is what I really want to get back to doing, assuming my body wants to cooperate) for a while I think has been having a negative impact on my well-being.
It’s that or it’s the amount of stress and exhaustion from not having a significant amount of time to myself. Who knows–maybe it’s a combination of things because my runs were some of the only periods of time where I could get away with not having to make any kind of social effort at all, and lately I barely get more than an hour alone before I’m falling asleep and then waking up to do it all again the next day. Running for two or more hours a day was really difficult on my shins, but I was getting vitamin D naturally (as opposed to the multivitamin I’ve been taking), and I had time to not have to think.
There are other things too: I miss being warm and believe it or not I even miss sweating. Mostly I just wish it was warm again. Summer, even now that I’m going to be working two jobs for the majority of it, still is a place of freedom. All we want is a long recess where we’re allowed to do whatever we want and not freeze our asses off while doing it. Is it so much to ask for?
I look out at wind blowing snow off of rooftops and hope that there will be some kind of pay off in the future. Pay off for what? I don’t know. I’ll reprint my plans and I’ll start running again and I’ll finally get to be warm, and worry-free. That’s the way I always assume the warm air is going to make me.